Spicy Berne BBQ Chicken (Recipe).

So I’m not really big on posting recipes. Why? Well, let’s be honest, there’s a ton of recipes out there already and I’m not exactly Marco Pierre White, even though I’m dying to read his autobiography. I just like to cook shit. Though I can’t even follow recipes myself, seriously. There are really two types of cooks: those that can cook ‘winging it,’ knowing how flavours work together and just trying things as they go along; and those that follow recipes. I’m definitely not the latter. I’m the guy with the blank look on his face staring at shelves in the supermarket, working out dishes in my head. I spend 20-minutes staring at the vegetable aisle figuring out what I’m going to cook. Actually, I spend 10-minutes in the meat aisle first, then once I’ve picked my meat I head to the veggie aisle for that decision process. The only thing that takes longer is picking a DVD on Sunday evening.

Anyways,  Sunday was a beautiful summer-like day, the Dad was in town and my sister texted me to see what we should make for lunch. I suddenly found myself sending the message back, “Braaied chicken marinated in Berne, chilli, ginger, garlic and tons of honey. Sides etc.” Maybe it was because I hadn’t had a beer in ages. Like two full days. Or whatever, I just felt like making that. And drinking Berne. There’s something satisfying about drinking and eating something made with the same beverage. As an amateur cook, the second best thing about having a professional cook sister is that she has everything in her kitchen (Obviously the best thing is when she cooks herself). She simply replied: “Just bring the beer.”

And so it happened. Chicken in Berne. With loads of garlic, chilli, ginger, harissa paste and other stuff thrown in too. What paste, huh? Harissa, there you go. It’s really freaking easy, so easy I figured I could post the recipe and even people from both camps (the recipe followers and the ‘winging it’ folk) could try it. It worked really well, the spices and beer flavours merging into one unified smack of deliciousness. Even more so when served alongside some grated fennel salad with vinaigrette and some baby potatoes drenched in olive oil, parsley and coriander.

Sunday lunch. With the family. And beer. And some good Silverthorn bubbly to kick things off. Winning, it’s really not hard.

Do try this at home, kids. You’ll need…
1 Elgin Free-Range chicken, spatchcocked (can someone Google that to find out where the hell that word came from?)
1 Brewers & Union Berne Amber Lager
Tbsp garlic
Tbsp ginger
Tbsp green chilli
3 Tbsp harissa paste
5 Tbsp honey
tsp paprika
tsp cumin
salt & pepper
1/2 handful fresh coriander, finely chopped
1/2 handful fresh parsley, finely chopped
1 lime & 1 lemon

Okay, it simple from here. Firstly, light your fire, ideally wood with some charcoal added.
While that’s burning down, make a mix from the garlic, ginger, chilli along with a good dose of salt and pepper in a bowl.
Cut your chicken in half, breasts joined in the middle, and press flat. Salt and pepper both sides all over, then take the above mix and spread it under the skin that covers the breasts & legs, saving a little bit of mix.
Put the chicken in a dish, breast-side up, and empty the Berne all over it. Then sprinkle the remaining garlic-etc mix over the top along with 1/2 the harissa paste, paprika and cumin. Let this sit for at least an hour or so. The longer the better.
Once the fire’s ready, separate the coals and add the chicken so it’s not on direct heat, then if it’s a Weber, put the lid on to smoke it nicely. Turn it a few times over 30 minutes, basting with the beer.
Leave the chicken to cook, head to the kitchen and reduce the beer mixture in a pan until it’s about 1/4 it’s original volume. Once it’s there, add the honey and remaining harissa paste and cook a few minutes longer then remove. Take this outside and baste the chicken a few times, turning, until it’s ready (i.e. nicely browned, cooked through).
Remove chicken and cut on a board into pieces. Pour reduced beer sauce over the top, squeeze lemon & lime and then sprinkle with coriander & parsley and serve, with some more Berne.*

There it is. Less yada yada. More happy eating.

-

* And if you didn’t finish two Berne’s yourself during the cooking process you’ve failed miserably!

The Martini Pork Leg.

I recently attended an evening of cocktails that somehow left me with an almost-full bottle of Noilly Prat dry vermouth. The stuff makes an excellent dirty martini (or filthy martini, depending how much olive brine you add), but then if I finished the entire bottle only making martinis, it’d be awesome I shudder to think of my condition. Instead, I thought it’d be fun to cook with it, since it has a lovely fragrant flavour. It actually makes a great alternative to white wine in many recipes, but worked superbly with this pork leg. Great for a lazy Sunday, especially since you now have a bottle of Noilly Prat in your possession and this means you’re going to make a good martini. Or several. What else are you going to do while that pork cooks? Follow the recipe closely to see how…

Ingredients
1 pork leg (deboned)
1 cup chicken stock
3/4 cup Noilly Prat dry vermouth
1 bag green olives
two handfuls baby potatoes
handful small radishes
1 can white beans
1 handful green beans
1 handful fresh thyme, picked
olive oil
salt & freshly ground pepper

Preparation

Set the oven to maximum temperature with the broiler element on. Then, while you’re waiting for that to heat up, mix yourself a dirty martini. You deserve one, just for trying a dish as great as this. Fill a shaker with ice, pour in two measures of vodka (Finlandia is a good one), 1/4 a measure of  Noilly Prat and a 1/4 measure of olive brine. (If you want to go filthy, mash up two green olives and add this too.) Stir well and strain into a chilled martini glass. Garnish with three olives on a toothpick. Aah, civility.

Back to work. Rub the pork shoulder in olive oil, salt and pepper. Place pork in casserole dish under broiler, and brown on each side. Keep an eye on it, as you don’t want to blacken it – we’re not cooking Cajun here. Use kitchen tongs or a serving fork to rotate the shoulder in the dish, without removing from oven.

This should take about 15 minutes, by which time your martini will be finished. Feel free to mix another one. But first, remove dish from oven and turn the oven temperature to 150′C with the element off. Mix the chicken stock, Noilly Prat, thyme and half of the olives together. Splash in a bit of the olive brine too. Pour over the pork, and baste well. The pork should now be sitting in a ‘bath’ of marinade. Place dish in oven and let cook for 4 hours, turning every hour.

Add the baby potatoes, radishes, white beans, green beans and replace in oven. Cook another 2 hours. While its cooking these last few hours, you should have invited guests to join you in exploring how best to enjoy a martini. This is a most fun way to pass the time, and highly intellectual, of course. Churchill, Hemingway, Faulkner and others attested to this. You can experiment with the ratio of Noilly Prat to vodka. You can also see how dirty you like yours. Purists won’t add brine to their martini at all, but they don’t know what they’re missing. Besides, with the brine addition it makes it a lot easier to enjoy. But don’t forget the pork: remember to mix the vegetables in the marinade and turn the pork every so often in between exercising your inner James Bond.

Once the two hours are up, serve immediately, spooning the rich and tasty marinade (which has plenty of pork fat in it now) over the meat. You can continue to drink martinis with the meal, but you might find yourself so plastered you can’t taste the great food you’ve cooked, something of a tragedy. I’d rather recommend a good bottle of Riesling, something dry with good acidity and minerality. Paul Cluver makes a goodie, as does Klein Constantia.

Parmesan Crumbed Lamb Chops.

I happened to be hurtling home through the Karoo after a recent wine roadtrip, but made sure to stop and pick up some Karoo lamb rib chops on the way. Lamb chops are arguably best cooked on the braai, but in winter you can still whip them up in your kitchen while its pouring outside. They work well in this recipe, though you could use pork chops or even chicken fillets instead. The recipe also combines some of my favourite ingredients: lemons, parmesan and olives. In fact, anything with parmesan is a winner in my book. If you can’t get your hands on a bottle of Italian Primitivo or Barbera, serve it with a quality bottle of chalky, earthy shiraz (Lammershoek Syrah would be my first choice).

Parmesan Crumbed Lamb Chops

Ingredients

For the sauce

1 cup green olives, pitted

1 handful flat leaf parsley

zest of 1 lemon, very finely chopped

¼ cup olive oil

salt

freshly ground pepper

For the lamb chops

1 cup bread crumbs

½ cup grated parmesan

6 lamb rib chops

½ cup flour

1 egg

salt

freshly ground pepper

2 Tbsp butter

Preparing the sauce

Roughly chop the olives, parsley and lemon zest. Mix together in a bowl and add the olive oil. Season with salt and pepper.  (You can blend the ingredients in a mixer, but I like it roughly chopped for texture)

Preparing the lamb

Beat the egg in a bowl. Mix the breadcrumbs and parmesan in another bowl, along with some salt & pepper. Coat the chops with flour, shaking off any excess. Dip chops into the egg, then evenly coat with the crumbs & parmesan mixture. Fry in butter in a medium-hot pan approximately 7 minutes a side, so nicely browned (best served medium-rare). Turn them whenever necessary while cooking to prevent burning. Serve over polenta and spoon the green olive & parsley sauce over the top. Steamed fine beans go well as a side dish.

–

*this post originally featured on www.eat-in.co.za

Spicy Tomato Soup with Tortellini.

I salvaged a chicken carcass a friend’s roast chicken dinner on Friday (just one of those things I do, I guess), and made a seriously delicious stock with it on Saturday, following Giorgio Locatelli’s recipe, which is foolproof and turns out superbly. It’s the kind of recipe that involves brushing the carcass in tomato paste and roasting in the oven. Basically the awesome kind. So Saturday night I simply threw some tortolini in this potent broth and that was dinner. As simple as Italian fare gets, right there, but hearty, rich and filling. I used beef and parmesan tortellini, but you could use any kind. On Sunday, with about 300ml leftover stock in the fridge and a tin of tomatoes eyeballing me on the shelf, I decided to use them for spicy tomato soup.

I do seem to have a tomato addiction and might have to seek counseling for it in the near future (please, if you know someone that is an expert at tomato overdose prevention, do get in touch). Addict or not though, you might enjoy this recipe for possibly one of my favourite new dishes. Simple to make and rather quick also, taking roughly 30-minutes in total, it would make a great starter.

Ingredients (makes 2 starter portions)

1 tin whole-peeled tomatoes

100g totellini (beef & parmesan works well)

300ml chicken stock

100ml water

1 garlic clove, finely chopped

1/2 an onion, finely chopped

2 birds eye chilies, finely chopped

1 Tbsp chopped parsley

olive oil

Preparation

Saute the chili, garlic and onion in olive oil in a hot saucepan for 3-minutes, till onions start to darken.

Add the tin of tomatoes, stir to mix and cover.

Simmer for 20-minutes, stirring occasionally, until tomatoes are softened and broken up.

Use a hand-blender to blend the saucepan contents into a smooth consistency.

Add the chicken stock and water, simmer another 5-minutes.

Add the tortellini and cook another 3-minutes.

Serve in bowls, drizzle with olive oil and sprinkle with parsley.

Spicy Asian Porkball Soup.

There’s nothing like soup when you’re hanging. Sloppy, hearty and warming, it really is your best friend on those nights in when you wish the previous night out never happened. And if you’re like me, partial to the occasional night out, then you’ve probably had several of those. Next time, try this recipe – one of my favourite Asian soups, right up there with Tom Yum and Miso. It’s not very difficult to put together and makes a great warming winter dinner. You can substitute pork with other meat, but pork works best. And if you’re Jewish, remember it’s okay to eat pork, you just can’t tell anyone about it. Best make it spicy and hot. Leaving the seeds in the chili gets the best results both in terms of flavour and the er, ‘next day’ effect.

Ingredients. (makes 2-3 portions, depending on size – of the company)

300g pork mince

2 tsp fish sauce

1 thumb-sized piece of ginger, crushed or grated

2 garlic clove, one sliced, the other finely chopped

1 green chili, chopped finely

3 sticks lemongrass, outer ‘sheath’ removed and finely chopped

1.5 tbsp peanut or sesame oil

1 litre chicken stock

2 handfuls rice noodles (soaked in water for 10 minutes to ‘freshen’)

1 large handful pak choi leaves

Preparation.

Mix half of each of the chili, fish sauce, ginger respectively along with the finely chopped garlic with the mince. Fashion about 7 or 8 small balls from it using your hands.* Fry the porkballs in your saucepan with half the oil on medium-high heat for about 8-10 minutes, moving them around so they brown nicely all over. Don’t worry about the pork sticking. Once the porkballs are cooked, remove to a separate dish. Then you can deglaze the saucepan with a touch of rice vinegar or wine and pour this over the porkballs.

Add the rest of the oil to the saucepan, and fry the lemongrass and remaining chili, garlic and ginger for about 3 minutes. Then pour in the stock and scrape the bottom to remove anything that’s stuck. Add the remaining fish sauce.

Simmer for five minutes, then add the porkballs, noodles and pak choi and allow to warm. Serve in bowls with chopsticks, which ensures you slurp loudly directly out the bowl, an important part of ‘eating Asian.’

–

* You do not need breadcrumbs. You never need breadcrumbs when making patties, meatballs, etc. This is a myth, probably thought up by a vegan.

This is What You Should be Eating.

I’m not going to mess around. It’s Friday. We have very little time, since the Friday work day is actually only three hours long. And I don’t want to waste any of yours. However, if you’re one of the few people that work Friday afternoons, there is a treat for you too. Anyways, back to my point: just because winter is coming it doesn’t mean you need to get fat. Phew, that’s it. I said it. Now repeat it. It’s true. You can eat hearty, rich and delicious foods this winter without looking like a pork banger come Spring. You can eat well without the thought have extra gym workouts in September. You can even eat more… bacon!!

How? You just have to balance your fatty foods with healthy foods. Simple. Duh. Basically, if you’re going to eat a big, fat juicy steak with Bearnaise sauce, remember to balance it with some good greens. Pile on the asparagus and mushrooms. If you’re going to eat bacon and eggs for breakfast, think about a tuna salad for lunch. Or better yet, think about having your bacon in your soup, with beans, so you get your good tasty food along with the healthy food.

And that’s it. No rocket science. No “I’m Dr Fatkins and I can save you” BS. Nope. Just a simple concept that works. Like this simple recipe for bacon and bean soup below. Yes, beans. I hear the sniggers, but despite the thoughts of your duvet rising off you in the night due to increased gaseous exchange, beans are super tasty and very healthy. So eat them. Lots of them.

Oh, and if you’re ‘working’ Friday afternoon (and have time on your hands), here’s what not to eat…  www.thisiswhyyourefat.com

Otherwise, here’s my recipe for Bacon & Borlotti Bean Soup:

Ingredients:

1/2 pack streaky bacon, diced

1 tin borlotti beans, drained and rinsed

1 tin red kidney beans, drained and rinsed

1 tin whole peeled tomatoes

1 medium onion, finely diced

1 clove garlic, thinly sliced

5 carrots, finely diced

750ml chicken stock

1 handful parsley, finely chopped

olive oil

Preparation:

Saute the onion in some olive oil on medium-low heat for 10 minutes in a medium-size saucepan

Add the garlic, carrots and the streaky bacon pieces and fry another 10 minutes

Add the tin tomatoes and the beans, and allow to come to boil

Add the stock and stir to mix ingredients well, then cover and simmer for 45 minutes (the longer you simmer, the better it tastes) stirring occasionally to prevent sticking at bottom

Season generously with salt (Maldon, of course) and black pepper, and serve in bowls garnished with some parsley and a decent splash of olive oil

The Sunday Burger.

Okay, yesterday I was supposed to go to a dinner with friends, but copped out because I was too hungover from the night before. I would never normally do something as juvenile as that, but then again, it was a wedding in Riebeek-Kasteel and I really was hanging. And I hadn’t committed to the dinner really. Anyways, the point was it was a late Sunday afternoon and I had a burger craving. Yet I didn’t really feel social. At all. In any way. So the only option was to make one at home. Off to Woolies. Back home. And I made this beast pictured above. A serious monster, it’s a 100% beef burger with mushroom sauce and fried egg served on an English muffin. Mmmm. So easy. Below is how. And don’t get lean mince. You want mince with a bit of fat. Fat = flavour, folks, so don’t be scared. You’ll run it off tomorrow. Oh, and yes, you’re going to fry it in butter. Not oil. Not anything else. Butter.

Ingredients (makes two, and you’ll only need one per person, I promise):

300g free-range beef mince (not lean!)

100g mushrooms, finely chopped

1 clove garlic, finely chopped

1/2 small onion, finely chopped

100ml fresh cream

handful rocket leaves

2 eggs

6 slices mature cheddar cheese

handful Italian flat parsley, chopped

2 English muffins, halved

salt & pepper

2 tablespoons butter

Preparation:

Saute the onions for two minutes in half the butter, then add the garlic and mushrooms and saute another 5 minutes

Add the cream and let simmer another 3 minutes, season with salt & pepper then set aside

Divide the mince into two portions, mix in a good pinch salt and pepper into each

Mix the two into soft balls of mince, then flatten individually between your palms into two patties

Fry patties in hot pan in the other half of the butter

Cook on each side for 3 minutes, then again on the first for 4 minutes (timing is for patties about two-fingers thick)

When you turn it over (for the last time now), top with the slices of cheddar

Move the patties to one side of the pan, and fry the eggs in the other until ready

Serving:

Toast your English muffin halves and put onto two plates

Place rocket on top, then patties, then eggs, then cover with the mushroom sauce and finally chopped parsley.

You’re done.

Now enjoy with a glass of The Hedonist Red Blend 2008, for extreme hangover treatment.

*in hindsight I realise this burger is missing bacon. Please add streaky bacon when you make it. I will next time. How could I not have???!