Things I’m Liking.

ClemenGolds.

Yes, these little mandarin buggers are tasty. Yes, they are also good for you. They’re easy to peel. They have no seeds. And they’re available at most Woolworths stores. They’re expensive when compared with a big bag of oranges on the side of a country road, but hell, they’re awesome, man! Disclaimer: no, I’m not sponsored by citrus farmers, I just like these things.

La Muerte.

A locally made ‘tequila’ that has the coolest fucking bottle you will ever see. It’s only appropriate to use foul language when describing this crazy shit, because it’s so good you will naturally end up drinking too much, forgetting that it still has an arsewarmingly fair deal of alcohol and probably do something stupid. But then, that’s tequila. Love her or hate her, she’s a hard bitch and will always be around. Oh, she’s also 100% fucking organic. (www.agavemuerte.com)

Bunny Chow.

It’s winter, and though it might feel like summer in Cape Town, as it always does in Durban and probably is in Joburg, now is a great time to get your chili on. Forget the rice though, and rather make bunny chow. Just make a curry and splash it into a breadroll, then garnish with some fresh chili and coriander. Done. Anyone can make curry – if you have a stove, pot, knife and a wooden spoon you can do it, no excuse.  Skip the plates and use wax paper to hold the rolls. Less mess to clean up.

AA Gill.

You know this man. The original restaurant assassin. Don’t really need to say anything, really. What a legend though. Read his stuff. Checkout AA Gill is Away, an excellent read.

Kalk Bay.

If you’ve ever experienced a Sunday then you’ve experienced a Sunday where you want to get outdoors, go somewhere near the water, and enjoy fish ‘n chips. Kalk Bay is on every real Capetonian’s to-do list on most weekends, it’s just that we only get to it once a month. If we’re lucky. Walk down the road in the sun, scour antique shops and browse old books. Or skip that and go straight to the good stuff: breakfast at Olympia Bakery, fish ‘n chips to go from Lucky Fish or a long lazy lunch at Live Bait. You can also do all of this in one Sunday if you’re worried you’re not going to get back soon. Note: Kalk Bay is also open on other days of the week, though you wouldn’t think this based on how busy it is on Sundays.

Reyneke Wines.

Biodynamic doesn’t mean much to many but it means everything to some. Johan Reyneke is one of the few it means everything to. He’s crafted his entire winery around farming biodynamically: essentially in a way that views the entire farm as a living organism. Actually he’s crafted his entire life around this concept, and it has worked well for him and his wines. Each of his wines is special, tastes unlike any other wine and is deserved of praise entirely on this merit. Yet they’re deserved of far more praise when you consider how he farms, in a way that ensures the land will be productive for centuries. www.reynekewines.co.za

Durban’s Finest Curry (& Sports Bar).

Bree Street’s newest food spot is a shitbox. Really, you’d have to try hard to make a place less inviting. White pleather couches, two TV screens (which always seem tuned to some Judge Judy ripoff show) and a very dark bar area, all adjacent to a dodgy nightclub called the Vudu Lounge. In fact, the two are connected, and if you peak around the corner you can see into what looks like the DJ booth and a party area where, my guess is, 419 scammers spend their Friday nights drinking Viceroy. Overall, this place has as much charm as your nearest hospital Emergency Room.

I don’t really understand it. But I guess there’s much that I will never understand. Like how many dumps like this make good food. All I can suggest is that you take Durban’s Finest Curry up on the offer printed on their menu sign, which says, “We do deliver.” Otherwise you’d be easily forgiven for not stepping foot in this place at all, which would be a pity because their curry is quite good. Yup, somehow, in the back room of a kitchen, the very sincere and sweet Indian lady is whipping up some awesome curries. She’ll even put something special together for you if you call in advance. Like mutton roti? Or lentil curry? Give her a shout and she’ll organise. The chicken bunny chow is good, and although the bones get annoying by the end, the bread gets more soaked in spicy curry to make up for it. Bunny chow is one of those foods you can eat practically anywhere. The office is always good, one gets looks of annoyance (amusing for you) from colleagues when they get whiffs of your curry. However, I don’t recommend you attempt it while driving, unless you have a large bib or a penchant for yellow-stained shirts. Either way, do give this unsightly place a chance. It really serves an original Durban curry, just not in Durban.

Durban’s Finest Curry (& Sports Bar), 165 Bree St. 021 426 0275.

ps. I’m not sure where the Sports Bar element comes in, since the TV is never on sport, but I guess this might have been a World Cup concept. Either way, if you follow the ‘delivery route,’ you don’t have to deal with this strange phenomenon.

Knead. (Dean St)

Knead had me several years ago with the words Beef, Onion & Red Wine Pie. Since then, they’ve done loads more, opening in Muizenberg, supplying cafes & restaurants and now opening their own third shop in the mini-mall in Dean Street, Newlands. Not a bad idea, putting a quality bakery next to a Woolworths, with its regular crowd coming past. Plus we all know that Woolies’ weak spot is their bread. The brand that brought us the next coming (Country Road) still fudges up the humble loaf. So well done on Knead for filling in where they can’t.

Knead supreme commander, Evan, seems to be present a lot of the time to make sure things go well, which seems to be the case. I have a thing for malls: generally I just want to blow them up. But the Dean Street Arcade is not so bad, and sitting in this rather hip-designed spot, things could be a lot worse. The bunny chow is a winner, the coffee is quality and on Newlands match days you can pull in for a prego roll and beer before the game. Beats those roadkill boerie rolls outside the stadium hands down.

Knead Bakery @ Dean Street Arcade, Newlands.