On The Road: Bar Bar Black Sheep.

There are more restaurants in Riebeek Kasteel that serve lamb shank than anywhere else in the world. It’s as if nicely fattened sheep stroll into town, knock on each restaurant’s door, let out a final bleat and like cheap prostitutes they collapse, offering their legs to the chefs. Which isn’t a bad thing – lamb shank is delicious. But the town has more to offer, culinary-wise.

Go to Bar Bar Black Sheep. Like we did yesterday. Sit in the courtyard under the pergola. Order as many of the starters as you can consume comfortably without losing enough space to eat a main. The tapas platter with red pepper humus, chourizo in red wine and the mussels is awesome. Baked lemons are great too. That strawberry & Parma ham salad, genius. Rapidly consume bottles of  Santa Cecilia Chenin Blanc 2010 (hopa!) and Sequillo White 2010. Drink them out of the thrift store tumblers. Order mains like the Zamalek-battered fish & chips, huge lamb burger or tractor-tyre sized fishcakes with pineapple salsa. Drink the Lammershoek Roulette Blanc 2009 (bang!) and the best of all, the Mullineux Syrah 2009.

Skip the sub-par espresso. Rather go to the Royal Hotel next door, say, “Fuck you, Louis Gossett Jr.” and drink pink gin & tonics with cucumber. Admire the view over the Swartland while the 35′C heat plays games with your mind. Or is that the gin. Or the effects of blood draining from your head to your stomach to deal with the overindulgences of the earlier lunch you sure won’t forget in a long time, not just for the food or the wine, but for the fact that skipping town and getting on the road into the oven of a countryside with a bunch of mates is always going to be the best thing you do all weekend.

www.bbbs.co.za

My Black Book.

I get asked the ‘where to go for what’ question a helluva lot. Regular text messages like: “Restaurant recommendation please, bud. First date, somewhere cosy. Oh, drinks after? Thanks.” Phone calls where I end up discussing the merits of how important atmosphere is versus food. Emails from people saying they’re going to Paris and want to know where to eat. It’s cool to help out, and people generally seem happy with my suggestions.

Anyways, these days, you don’t need a black book, you just need a smartphone and The Google Machine. But I thought it’d be fun to throw down four or five spots I recommend a lot and for what. I ended up throwing down a few more. So here they are, 40 rather useful places to know about. Yes, there’s a lot that would overlap and plenty more to add, but this is just how I first thought of them…

1. First morning coffee: Deluxe Coffeeworks
2. Coffee & croissant: Jason (ex-Jardine Bakery)
3. Hangover breakfast: Sidewalk Cafe
4. Classy breakfast: Table Thirteen
5. Brunch: Bistro 1682
6. Saturday morning beer: Neighbourgoods Market
7. Healthy lunch: Cookshop
8. Lunch and the paper: Mozzarella Bar
9. Quick sandwich: Jason (ex-Jardine Bakery)
10. Unfussy lunch with a mate: Mano’s
11. Classy lunch with a mate: Dear Me
12. Power lunch: Caveau
13. Long boozy lunch: The Foodbarn
14. Very low-key lunch: Dias Tavern
15. Hipster lunch: Superette*
16. Sunday lunch: Woodlands Eatery
17. Winelands lunch: Bar Bar Black Sheep
18. Early afternoon espresso: The Power & The Glory
19. Drinks by the pool: Sandy B’s
20. Early afternoon beer: &UNION
21. Vegetarian meal: Masala Dosa
22. Second best vegetarian: Lola’s
23. After work drinks: &UNION
24. Martini’s: Planet Bar
25. Rooftop bar: The Grand Daddy
26. Dinner with a mate: Hudsons
27. Dinner with the family: Massimo’s
28. Dinner with a view: The Roundhouse
29. Romantic dinner: Kitima
30. Tapas dinner: La Boheme
31. Business dinner: Bizerca
32. Gourmet experience dinner: Test Kitchen
33. Low-key dinner: Nonna Lina
34. Zen dinner: Kyoto Garden Sushi
35. Tequila-fueled dinner: El Burro
36. Classy nightcap: Fatback Soul
37. Messy nightcap: Black Ram
38. 4am on brandy: The Shack
39. 4am on cocktails: Julep
40. 5am toasted chicken mayo: Restaurant L’Orange aka Engen

Feel free to add your own suggestions as comments…

* okay, so there’s more to the Superette crowd than hipsters

Bar Bar Black Sheep. (Riebeek Kasteel)

Situated at the end of Short Street, that short er, street across from The Royal Hotel in Riebeek Kasteel that has a few cute shops, a wine store and hosts a market every few Saturdays, Bar Bar Black Sheep is a rather ridiculous restaurant. Firstly, it’s ridiculously quaint. Assorted wooden tables and chairs. A leafy courtyard. Quirky old Scope magazine covers in the bathroom. Kitch wall art. A rather cosmopolitan crowd that seems to frequent it. The odd neighbourhood dog that wanders in. And an old railroad board on the wall with food quotes scribbled in chalk. The top one yesterday read: “I love you like a fat kid loves cake.” Perhaps the first restaurant to quote rapper 50 Cent on food?

Secondly, it’s got some ridiculously good wines on the list, almost entirely regionally loyal to the Swartland. Aprilskloof Red Red 2006 at R80 per bottle may just be the best ‘house wine’ I’ve had in recent memory. House wine? This stuff puts the big-talking, Ferrari-driving Stellenbosch set to shame. Local is lekker here, and though there are some bargains, the list also includes the big hitters: Chris Mullineux’s wine is there, as is Eben Sadie’s and Adi Badenhorst’s. Tempting options all round really, so why bother buying anything from outside the area? Makes sense to me. We also smashed a bottle of the Lammershoek Roulette Blanc 2008, a firm, steely white blend of Chenin Blanc, Chardonnay and Viognier that has great acidity.

Then of course, the food. It’s ridiculous. Ridiculously tasty, well-cooked and cleverly put together. Creative yet not overly constructed, it is cuisine that belies the casual nature of the place. How about vine-leaf wrapped sardines stuffed with garlic, olive and chili. Or a nice cold gazpacho, served as a terrine. Or chorizo sauteed with red wine and onion. Or marinated octopus tentacles. Or how about cacciatore made from rabbit, lamb loin and pork belly. It was hard to choose so we had it all. You can’t really go wrong here, which is hmmm, how shall we say… yes, rather ridiculous.

I’ve had some pretty creative food here over the years. And the chef is not shy to use offal, something I think is applaudable. True, this isn’t light food that you could eat often, but this isn’t the kind of place most people get to often. So it works. The service is also keen and efficient, with some small glitches that are easily forgivable. Like yesterday, when our waiter’s cellphone rang while he opened our wine. But with a rather cool West-African sounding song as a ring tone, it didn’t spoil the vibe at all.

Overall though, perhaps most ridiculous is that Bar Bar Black Sheep isn’t better recognized as a top restaurant. Maybe because it is so casual. Or because it’s tucked away in Riebeek Kasteel, though the town is certainly not the sleepy country spot it once was. Either way, you’d think word would be out about this place as a top winelands restaurant. You’d think they’d be booked every day through summer. You’d think pictures of the chef would be on magazine covers. But it isn’t, they aren’t and the chef hasn’t graced any cover. Though if you’ve sat in the courtyard after a terrific Sunday lunch and enjoyed a good espresso with a grappa, it’s not really anything to complain about. At least you already know about it.

www.bbbs.co.za