Negotiating Winex.

Walk into Winex. Hand over ticket, collect glass. Ignore silly clipboard thing they offer. Walk into hall and notice how fewer exhibitors there are this year. Which is good, since it’s not crowded like a Bangladeshi street market as before. But bad, in that you might not find some of the wineries you’re after. Plenty little guys missing, which is sad.

Walk to the Idiom wines. Taste the Zinfandel and the Sangiovese. Two unusual varietals worth a taste. Notice the crowd lingering around Boekenhoutskloof. Chocolate Block lovers, all of ‘em. Eager for more, arms outstretched with empty glasses in hand and thirsty looks on their faces.  If you manage to elbow your way through them, get a taste of the Semillon. Beautiful, big and minerally white worth a sip. As is their Syrah, a real elixir. Hit the Chamonix guys up for some of their Graywacke Pinotage. They make a portion of it Amarone-style, drying the grapes to concentrate sugars. It’s the kind of Pinotage that the varietal king Kanonkop should worry about. The Chamonix Pinot Noir is also killer, a true classic in terms of style.

Don’t get distracted by the pretty girls. Hundreds of them. Focus. Vinuous thoughts. Go to Eagle’s Nest and try the Little Eagle. A knockout red blend at R65. Try their big eagle, the Verreaux blend. Solid stuff, but even that is shamed by how superb their Shiraz is. Wine of the show? Who knows. Move along and keep tasting. Avoid pointless ‘this wine is better than that’ conversations. Avoid the tables with old tannies who fell into baths of self-tan. Don’t miss the Just Riesling stand. Wine hitman Jorg Pfuetzner holds fort here. Ask him for something special. Plenty of other great wines to try. Sterhuis – all the whites. Raats Family Wines – the MR De Compostella is kicking ass and taking names. Sutherland, the Elgin range from Thelema, has a cranker of a Pinot Noir out which the affable Tom Webb will tell you is going to sell at R90, which is a steal.

Tokara has a big Director’s Reserve red blend. They’re taunting it for great things, and the pundits probably love it, but it doesn’t seem all there to me. Too big, too young. Would rather have their olive oil. Make sure you get to Sumaridge. Their Pinot Noir is raising eyebrows but their Epitome blend is what got me even more excited. Shiraz, Pinotage and Merlot, so velvety smooth and luscious. Ooh, definitely my find of the night.

Watch out for the short hairy man in a bow tie when he tries his best to announce the show is over. Watch as nobody moves out, but rather quickly fills their glass with whatever is nearest and plants their feet defiantly. Talk turns to dinner and the debate of where to go. Choose somewhere hearty because if you parked, you’re in for a good wait. But you’re a pro, so you came in a cab, didn’t you?