Let’s start the new year by dwelling on the past. When I was a kid I remember meals mostly by the things left uneaten on my plate. Shameful piles of boiled peas and carrots that I’d have to grudgingly finish on my own before leaving the table. These days it’s more about the last awesome meal, whether a four-course feast, perfectly juicy burger or mindblowing bobotie served by an overly camp waiter in an old fishing village. Food is life and it’s always worth dwelling on.

One of the best meals I had last year was in December at Cosecha restaurant in the winelands. I’d driven past the place loads of times. It’s on that narrow road that connects Klapmuts to the R45 on which you always drive as fast as the N1 but really shouldn’t because it’s bumpy as all hell. Naturally, because you’ve got your steering wheel in a white-nuckle deathgrip, you miss the small sign that says ‘Cosecha’ on your right as you hurtle along. You’re going to kick yourself for missing it: the place is a gem.

Fresh Mexican food, as good as I’ve ever had, in the winelands. Served with sangrita, quality wines from the estate which it’s on (Noble Hill) and a California-meets-Cape setting, it’s hard to beat. There’s also the lawn for a post-lunch nap and a small damn with a sign that suggests you don’t swim but doesn’t say you’re not allowed to. Dive in!

Watch them make guacamole at the table for you in a mortar and pestle, eat the toasted quesadilla, kingklip ceviche, chicken and mango crispy tacos, grilled ostrich skewers and so on and so on. Just keep eating – the amazing thing is the food is so light you’re not going to get that bloated button-popping feeling you get when you eat cheap cheddar-covered Tex-Mex at your local “chili popper” joint.

www.cosecharestaurant.com

Do yourself a favour the next time you’re feeling slightly overworked, stressed, tired, uninspired or just imprisoned by the city, book a cottage at Die Laaitjie. Actually, let me elaborate. If you’re feeling overworked, stressed, tired, uninspired or just imprisoned by the city, or none of the above, book a cottage at Die Laaitjie.

Die Laaitjie is a quiet place. It’s a collection of beautiful cottages in the mountains above Robertson. Nowhereland, really. Which is why it works – there’s really nothing there. Just a few simple white cottages, large green mountains, some orchards and a river with a pond for skinny-dipping. It works because you can be close to the nearest cottage, but clever layout means you don’t need to see them. It works because you feel closer to the stars at night rather than Cape Town, just 2 hours away. It’s the kind of place you’ll want to share with good people only.

To give you an idea of the bliss, this past weekend as example. Friday night: Steak frites, red wine and a couple games of Speed. Saturday: river-running, suntanning, smashing bottles of Everson’s stupidly good pear cider, smörgåsbording on Frankie Fenner’s ‘bloody mary’ chourizo (the best sausage I’ve had since 1723), pork rillette and stinky cheeses, drinking too much Roundstone Blanc de Noir, braaiing bacon-wrapped monkfish skewers and fat prawns, a coal-roasted pork shoulder that was forgotten and turned unexpectedly deliciously crispy and ending with homemade panna cotta. Oh, and Sunday: lazing in bed as long as humanely possible. Of course.

www.dielaaitjie.co.za

There are more restaurants in Riebeek Kasteel that serve lamb shank than anywhere else in the world. It’s as if nicely fattened sheep stroll into town, knock on each restaurant’s door, let out a final bleat and like cheap prostitutes they collapse, offering their legs to the chefs. Which isn’t a bad thing – lamb shank is delicious. But the town has more to offer, culinary-wise.

Go to Bar Bar Black Sheep. Like we did yesterday. Sit in the courtyard under the pergola. Order as many of the starters as you can consume comfortably without losing enough space to eat a main. The tapas platter with red pepper humus, chourizo in red wine and the mussels is awesome. Baked lemons are great too. That strawberry & Parma ham salad, genius. Rapidly consume bottles of  Santa Cecilia Chenin Blanc 2010 (hopa!) and Sequillo White 2010. Drink them out of the thrift store tumblers. Order mains like the Zamalek-battered fish & chips, huge lamb burger or tractor-tyre sized fishcakes with pineapple salsa. Drink the Lammershoek Roulette Blanc 2009 (bang!) and the best of all, the Mullineux Syrah 2009.

Skip the sub-par espresso. Rather go to the Royal Hotel next door, say, “Fuck you, Louis Gossett Jr.” and drink pink gin & tonics with cucumber. Admire the view over the Swartland while the 35′C heat plays games with your mind. Or is that the gin. Or the effects of blood draining from your head to your stomach to deal with the overindulgences of the earlier lunch you sure won’t forget in a long time, not just for the food or the wine, but for the fact that skipping town and getting on the road into the oven of a countryside with a bunch of mates is always going to be the best thing you do all weekend.

www.bbbs.co.za

Thanks to El Jimador tequila we’re throwing a little bash tomorrow night that’s sure to involve a good dose of Mexican food, laughs and of course 100% agave tequila from El Jimador – the kind that makes you crazy without making you feel it the next day.

Since Movember is behind us now, it shouldn’t involve too much facial hair, but then again, I’ll just have to see. Congrats to the winners for their quirky entries: Mark Bullivant, Cam Corder and Vito Da Silva.

I’ll be in touch to liaise the details regarding dinner tomorrow, but in the meantime, for you or anyone else that’s interested, I’ve included a handy tash chart below, for planning next year’s Mo. Enjoy.

“Nice kankle bru!” Simon (my business partner) wasn’t too happy with this comment I tossed his way. The good fellow happened to sprain his ankle, which was now nicely swolen, during a run I’d suggested we do. But anyways, enough Steph Weiss and even the most painful of injuries is bearable. Like the third-degree burn I suffered on my neck from a hot potato Simon threw at me that I would’ve dodged like Keanu in The Matrix if it hadn’t been for all that Steph Weiss. Karma isn’t a bitch, it’s a burn.

Last weekend saw over 20 mates head up to High Seasons cottages in the Hemel-en-Aarde Valley for the usual weekend of debauched eating and drinking, this time made even more celebratory since the reason for the gathering was Simon’s birthday. We piled into a Mini Cooper (just four of us, twenty people in a Mini would be a Guinness world record and plain stupid), which despite the small size of the car packs a mean amount of luggage into it. We sped down the N2, cruised over Sir Lowry’s Pass, shot past Elgin, hooked a right at Botriver and a left just before Hermanus to end up on the Hemel-en-Aarde Road, which if you’re into driving, is lots of fun.

The valley (enter your own adjectives of beauty and adoration here, blah blah) is famously home to Hamilton Russell Vineyards, who make expensive but damned good wines, and a bunch of other top Pinot-producing wineries (Creation, Newton Johnson and Bouchard Finlayson probably my favourites).  The cottages overlooked (insert your long line of adoring adjectives again) valley and we made use of these views to distract us while we sat on the lawn for the entirety of the scorching afternoon. Between us, we cracked beers, swam in the “extreme” dam, made “game-changing” margaritas, talked a lot of bullshit, laughed too much, planked on a fence, chased the bull a bit (as you do), drank lots of Bouchard Finlayson Sauvignon Blanc, rolled down hills, did the peacock dance and some rather spring-like worm dance moves.

After it all, Marco the legendary Porra made the world’s tastiest prawns. 12kg of them. They came in waves, a relentless shellfish and garlic attack that showed our stomachs no mercy. There might have been some greens, potatoes and a 5L bottle of wine. There apparently were brownies too. But things got rather fuzzy by then. Thank God the tequila stayed in the fridge, one can only imagine what mayhem would’ve happened if that found it’s way into the wrong hands.

–

All pics by Andrew Brauteseth / @guy_with_camera .

It’s November. Well, technically it’s also Movember. Or everyone is feeling Mexican. Whatever, there are a lot of guys out there sporting dodgy facial hair moustaches this time of year. I’ve seen small trimmed numbers, big handlebar tashes and some interesting styles in between. Whether you’re growing it for fun or actually trying to do some good, chances are you look pretty dumb. So you might as well get something out of it.

El Jimador tequila is helping out with their Flash Your Tash campaign, getting people to well, flash their moustache, of course. They’re letting me take 3 readers (plus partners) to a big fat Mexican dinner at El Burro restaurant in Greenpoint on December 6th to celebrate tash season.

All you have to do is send me pics of yourself as you Flash Your Tash.*

It doesn’t even have to be real. Which means it’s open to boys and girls. Fake tashes stuck or drawn on. Real tashes. Even ginger tashes. It doesn’t matter. Just send me funny pics and you could be joining for a raucous Mexican dinner on 6th December. And by raucous I mean insanely fun with El Jimador tequila flowing like a flooded river. So come and taste the glory with me…

*HOW: Send pics to thefoodie.co.za@gmail.com (or via twitter directed at @foodie_za with the tag #eljimador) before Dec 2nd.

Find out more about El Jimador 100% agave tequila at www.eljimador.com.

-

T&C’s:
You must be of legal drinking age to enter
Deadline for submissions is Friday 2 December 2011
You will need to be available on 6 December 2011
Entrants need to be Cape Town-based
Inappropriate photos will be rejected. Photos must not:
o  feature anyone under the legal drinking age
o  depict violence, drugs, drug culture, or unlawful or anti-social behavior
o  be offensive on grounds of age, gender, race, religion or sexual orientation or likely to cause widespread offence on any other grounds

Okay, I’m not one to post things from press releases. In fact, usually they’re so boring and far up their own arses, I couldn’t be bothered to read them. But this one that popped in about Peter Tempelhoff caught my attention for several reasons…

1. Peter Tempelhoff. The guy’s a seriously talented chef. I’ve met him and he’s also a really down-to-earth dude. He cooks some seriously modern cuisine over at The Greenhouse restaurant at the Cellars Hohenort in Constantia. Constantia is also known for having good wines, hot mom’s and no street lamps.

2. Grand Chef. He’s been appointed a Grand Chef by Relais & Chateaux. Grand Chef sounds pretty awesome, doesn’t it? Other great Grands include: Grand Prix. Grand Jury. Grandmaster Flash. Pretty heady company.

3. Heady Company. I glanced the mail and noticed that his new title is shared with a few other decent chefs. You might recognise names like Raymond Blanc, Michel Roux Jr., Heston Blumenthal, Joel Robuchon, Daniel Boulud and Thomas Keller. Also Grand Chefs. Congrats Peter, well done to you. Please don’t launch a cooking show now like some of these guys though.

The Greenhouse Restaurant.

“Try it. it’s really not hot.” That’s the new line to describe Nando’s new Tangy Tomato flavour, which, as you’ve guessed, isn’t spicy. You know Nando’s, the flame-grilled chicken spot that has no problem making hilarious TV ads* (though my all time favourite by them is a tactical ad on the side of one of their trucks, saying “Poultry in motion”). But who is Nando? Is he really Portuguese? Does he have a large moustache, and not just in Movember? Actually, I don’t really care about any of that. All that matters is that they keep making tasty chicken.

Yes, I’m a fan of Nando’s and do support them. I could tell you that they sent me a box of tomatoes to celebrate the launch of Tangy Tomato (they were really tasty tomatoes too). I could tell you they also gave me a voucher to go try the new Tangy Tomato flavour. I could go on about how it is really tasty, doesn’t burn – seriously, no spice! – and mention that you should try it. I could also talk about the time I once ate five Nando’s chicken burgers in a sitting. Or the time I asked for it to be “seriously, as hot as you can make it” and spent a fair bit of time busy with my own #OccupyBathrooms movement.

I could, but instead, I’m just going to say give it a try the next time you visit Nando’s.

–

*speaking of funnies – how did I miss this one?? Click here.

The sharp folk at Freeworld Design Centre have decided to throw a series of food movie nights in November, which is a pretty sweet idea if you ask me. If you haven’t been to this venue, you’ve missed out. It’s an architects wet dream, a designers heaven and inspiration for any creative out there. It has an interior design showroom, news stand, design reference library and what has to be the slickest ‘canteen’ in Cape Town – Hemelhuijs restaurant. Plus it has a 98-seat theatre that makes it perfect for screening food-related movies to a bunch of Cape Town foodies.

I say food-related, since, well, not all the movies are directly about food. And by ‘not all the movies’ I really mean the movie I chose, The Freshman. Yes, they were brave enough to ask me to choose one of the movies, so on the evening of Wednesday the 16th November I’ll be watching The Freshman with anyone else who cares to join.

Tickets to the movies are R40, but if you’re smart, you’ll also partake in the dinner and movie combo for R120. This will be hosted downstairs at Hemelhuijs, with food prepared by the designer, chef and aesthetic genius, Jacques Erasmus.

Full schedule for the month at the FDC website, along with details on other movies (I Am Love and Tampopo are the others I’m keen on).

www.freeworlddesigncentre.co.za

Imagine the dude hauling barrels around your nearest wine cellar was rocking out in a pair of these bad boys? Would certainly beat those rather naff Blundstone boots so ubiquitous with winemakers. The Nike Zoom Stefan Janoski ‘Vineyard.‘ The designer’s dad has a vineyard in California, he designed some shoes and this is the result. Wine-stained tan canvas Nike’s, limited edition of course. Probably damned pricey, but something quirky and cool.

Thanks to fieldnotes_za for the heads up.